So I love where I work, even on the days that I don't.
And I am incredibly happy and have decided to come around to my best friend's point of view- Fall is most definitely the best time of year. :]
Last week, I couldn't work, because my work permit had expire and that was sadddd. So, yesterday was incredibly lovely for me, even though I got sent home early and ended up waiting outside and shivering so badly that people might've mistook me for having a seizure.
And, anyway, the point of this journal is this:
I've been thinking, and I know I've said something along these lines before, but I haven't... not really. And I just want everyone to know, even if no one looks at this, okay? Okay. So... well... read. <3
I know the opposite of love is indifference and maybe this isn't indifference, but maybe it's better than that.
I've decided that I'm sick of having to put up with his shit.
I'm tired of trying to be with someone who makes me feel so bad, simply because he used to make me feel so good.
Yes, we were wonderfulperfectamazing while we lasted, but we didn't last and there's a reason for that. I'm sick of trying to make us work, or fix us, because we don't need to be fixed and I DEFINITELY don't need to be fixed.
I don't like the person I've been since he broke up with me-- all teary-eyes and heartbroken. A mess, in less words.
I guess I had begun to depend on him for my happiness- I had convinced myself that I needed to be with him to be happy. But that's wrong, and sad, and not even true.
For the past few days, I have been so amazingly happy with everything in my life, even though there's nothing amazing going on. Every SECOND is a miracle and I don't want to waste even the tiniest moment of my time on unhappiness.
I am finally thrilled to just be me, even by myself. And that's truly something great.
Yes, I want a boyfriend. I'm not denying that. But I am completely happy without one, so I know that the next boy won't be around because I need him. He'll be here because I want him.
And, you know, I just feel really amazing lately.
And I wanted you guys to know that.
And, if there's anything I can do, please let me help you feel like this, too.
Soo... yeah... that's all.
:]
- Mood:
Euphoric
--
Love & Peace,
Carolyn
.chasing castles like there's no tomorrow.
--
'Needed time to clear my mind and breathe the free air, find some peace there. Used to keep my heart in jail but the choice was love or fear of pain and I...
chose...
love...'
Anathema - 'Everything'
--
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies...
dA [and I] missed you! :]
--
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies...
Hails!
--
To be reborn, one must die first.
Leviathan.
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